Dubberisms

AGE 7

"God gave everyone a special ability, and mine is to pop my finger when it’s not ready to."
 —DUBS, AGE 7

 

"I don’t think a Jackalope could be very real because then it would trip over its horns when he ran."

 —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Dub walking into the classroom during recess
Dubs: Helloo?
Miss Anna: Oh it’s just me in here buddy. 
Dubs: Oh, I just need to use the restroom—nothing hysterical. —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Miss Kelsi: You silly goon!
Dubs: I’m not a goon! I’m a Dub! —DUBS, AGE 7

 

The kids having a jumping jack contest
Dubs: I’m as weak as a chicken!! —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Miss Anna: The sun is a big ball of…??
Dubs: Fluff! —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Harper brings something to school for Miss Kelsi, and Avy explains how she had something for Miss Kelsi too but forgot it...Kip on the other hand…
Dubs: I have nothing to offer. I bring no sacrifice. —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Dubs: I’m going to be the bank (pulling out the fake money).
Miss Kelsi: Okay! I need 55 cents.
Dubs: No wait! It’s not open yet! It’s under “ecstruction.” —DUBS, AGE 7

 

Miss Kelsi: The new name of God we are going to learn about is Jehovah Mekoddishkem.
Dubs: It’s like Jehovah Scottish man! —DUBS, AGE 7

AGE 6

Kipling asked me, “Does Satan give presents?” I told him, “No, Satan is mean and he doesn’t give anyone presents.” He thought about it for a minute and then responded very seriously, “Well, if he DID give presents, they would probably be stink-bombs!”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Miss Adriane finds a locket in her bag…
Dubs: Whose is that?
Miss Adriane: I have no idea I just found it in my bag.
Dubs: Maybe a robber gave it to you, and it’s the robber’s wife.
Miss Adriane: [Just looking at him with wonder]
Dubs: What?! It's possible!
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“My parents renamed me Scooby Doo because I solve mysteries so much!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs talking about his loose tooth…
“I like to stick out my tooth and make a hamster face. It’s really cute.” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Miss Kelsi: How would you feel if somebody erased all of your work ?
Dubs: S-A-T, Sad!
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“Daddy met a boy named Corey at Starbucks who wants to become a Christian. His dad isn’t a Christian, but he can tell him about Jesus and then they can both get ba-buh-tized.” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs questions on basking sharks:
“How big are they? Do they eat humans? Where do you find them? Are they available as pets?”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs: Miss Kelsi, do you wear PJ’s when you go to sleep?
Miss Kelsi: No...I wear my church clothes. ;)
Miss Anna: Is that true Kip?!
Dubs: No, that’s evolution.
Miss Anna: Oh?... How is that evolution?
Dubs: Because anything that’s not true is evolution.
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“It’s not a good idea to sleep upstairs because my dad goes out really early—like as soon as the sun budges he goes out.” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

If Dubs was given a million dollars
“I would buy a million motorcycles...one of them for my children.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Watching the William Tyndale movie, and a Christian had just been taken away in the film.
Miss Adriane: He got in trouble just for teaching them to pray the Lord’s prayer in scripture.
Dubs: Wow, they’re sensitive.
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs zooming around on his friend’s bike
Miss Kelsi: Dubs be careful not to hit anyone!
Dubs: I know what to do! I’ve had a bike for 60 years!
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“Did you know that way back then that it cost only a penny to buy a big ice cream with a cone involved?!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Randomly out of the blue
Dubs: Miss Kelsi, what’s a bachelor?
Miss Kelsi: [Trying not to laugh!] “A bachelor is a young man who is not married.”
Dubs: Phew! That’s a good thing, because young men aren’t supposed to get married!
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

[On a more serious note] during prayer time
“I want to pray for North Korea. God’s calling me there. God told me in a dream six times in my head.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Miss Anna teaching about the flesh vs. the Spirit…
Miss Anna: So, the flesh is…??
Dubs: [Whispers to himself] “East.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Mr.Ryan: [drawing a little man]
Dubs: Don't tell me! Its humpty dumpty!
Mr.Ryan: [drawing a man falling headfirst] "Whats wrong with this picture?”
Dubs: He can't live if he falls on his head, because you can't live without your head!
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

During a soccer game in the heat of the action
Miss Ruthann: Wow, good job, Kipling!
Dubs: [with nonchalant swagger] “Yeah, I’m gettin’ stronger every day… Like, I do my finger exercises every morning so that when the ball hits my fingers, they won’t hurt.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs reading an insect book during reading time: “They are divided into many smaller groups of related animals.”
Dubs: [Looks up wide-eyed]  Related... is that evolution? Evolution isn’t true.
Miss Kelsi: No, that isn’t evolution. You know your tummy mommy? You are both related because you are family.
Dubs: Oh so related means you are family...evolution is like when people think they were monkeys. Someday I am going to get a monkey and put it in a cage; and then I’m going to bring that person over to my house to watch it and say [with arms crossed], “Look! See! That monkey’s not turning into a human!”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs having a hard time not singing during class time. After asking him to please be quiet again, he said,..
“It’s a song I made up about Jesus...I’m addicted to songs—Jesus songs.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“I don't know how much I weigh... I've never picked myself up before... But the only way you can find out your weight is if you’re flying, and you pick yourself up in the air!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

American states according to Dubs
Mr Alex: so we have states like Florida, and California 
Dubs: And Telafono
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Story by Dubs:
“Once upon a time Tom went on a walk. He unplugged an egg and didn't know what it would do. Then it exploded. THE END!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Said extremely fast without a breath
“Miss Charis can I bring this rock in because it Is shiny and it reminds me of Jesus!!!”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“People in North Korea know that their Korean when their skin is dark. If I went to North Korea I would take a bath in coffee so that I'd blend in. Maybe I can cover the coffee smell up with perfume. But I'd have to pack first.” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs on Wedding Days 
Dubs: I am going to see you walk down the hile!
Dubs: Am I going to get to walk you down the hile?
Mr. Alex: Do your work, Dubs!
Dubs: Then can we talk about marriage?
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“Is your real name Mr. Alex or Alex?” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs: Are you gonna have children when I grow up?
Mr. Alex: Yes, probably.
Dubs: Can you name one Dubs? 
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs on Theology 
“You're gonna get arrested for everlasting life!”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dubs on Mortality 
“You’re gonna be alive until you die.”
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“I can’t go to North Korea yet! I haven’t even studied speech for it yet!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

“What’s the passageword?” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

“This is the city! Only the weakest survive.” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

“Gorilla tape is so strong! Nothing can defeat it!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

On the new little kid’s upstairs classroom 
“Where are we going to have recess? In the trees?” 
—DUBS, AGE 6

 

“I’m Mr. Invincible! Well, not really!” —DUBS, AGE 6

 

Dub’s frustrations with leaf fighting 
“Come on guys! We need some boys!”
—DUBS, AGE 6

AGE 5

Dubs looking at Mr. Alex’s legs 
“Mr. Alex, you are all furwy!” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Mr. Alex: Dubs, you are so smart!
Dubs: Yeah, I’m really smart at home! Whenever someone is trying to find something, I am always like, ‘I got it.’ Maybe its because my brain is always turned on. 
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

“Whenever we say something bad, my mom gives us the Sad-Spray.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

“You know why I only brought my notebook? Because somebody messed with my office.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

“I'm as cold as an ox!” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

“We pray in the morning, right before dinner.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

“Did you wrote this book?” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

“I can touch my real eye.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs spelling 
“S-w-ore, Swore.”
“Was your shoulder swore?” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs Reciting Proverbs 15:1 
Prov 15:1: A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Dubs’s translation: A soft answer scares away rats.
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

“Oh, you don't have to tell me what an attic is. I know what what it is. It's a place where you keep all your junk.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

”I broke my patella ten tons. It's really heavy—like ten tons—so I need to walk on crutchables until it's better.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs: Miss Cwithtina, when I grow up, I'm going to rescue you. 
Miss Cristina: Aw, thanks, Dubs. What a strong protector you're becoming. What are you going to rescue me from?
Dubs: From any guys who want to marry you so you can marry me instead.
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Explode the Code* Question: Will you dump Mom’s dress in the sink?
Dubs: No way! I don’t even know where her clothes are! I am not allowed to get into her stuff! And I’m too busy!
*Dubs’s English Curriculum 
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

“I have a stiffly nose!” —DUBS, AGE 5
 

Dubs on Painting 
Dubs: It’s like colorful lava! Look! I'm making colorful lava! 
Dubs’s friend: Dubs, It looks like whip cream.
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

“You're the chief, right? Because you have lots of buttons.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs on Yurt camping 
“When we were camp outing there was the in-house and then there was the outhouse.” 
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs on Garter Snakes 
Dubs: They’re guard snakes because they guard you from danger, like if a boa constrictor tried to get you, they would get in the way, right?
Mr. Alex: No, they are more like ‘garden’ snakes. 
Dubs: Oh, so like, they guard your garden for you?
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs [spelling]: M - o - mm - y, Mommy!
Dubs [still spelling]: M - u - mm - y, Mummy!
Dubs: Is a mummy like a mommy except all wrapped up?
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

“Don’t come near me, I’m a buffalo!” —DUBS, AGE 5
 

Dubs waves his hand in front of Mr. Alex’s face 
Dubs: I know why you blinked when I did that! 
Mr. Alex: Why is that?
Dubs: Because your eye thinks its gonna hit it, so it protects it.
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs on standing 
Dubs: I’m gonna stand for most of it, until I get weak.
Dubs: I’m gonna stand in the back because I’m a gentleman.
Dubs: I’m gonna look like a cool man.
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs on the Grand Canyon 
”That would be a good view to throw rocks!” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs on Camels Whacking their Tails 
“He’s whacking himself with his tail like he's giving him a consequence.” —DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs: Miss Cwithtina, once there was a snake in the yard. We told Mr. Michael and he came with a shovel and took care of it. It was just gone after that. Where is Mr. Michael?
Miss Cristina: He's in Australia with Mr. Mark. They're teaching people more about Jesus.
Dubs: What?! In Australia?! We learned about Australia.
Miss Cristina: I remember that. What did you learn about Australia?
Dubs [very matter of factly]: Lots of things and about how there are kangaroos and wannabies.
Miss Cristina [desperately trying not to laugh]: “Wannabies?” 
Dubs [still very matter of fact and serious]: “Yeah, they're like little kangaroos. Probably they wanna be big ones so they're called wannabies.”
—DUBS, AGE 5

 

Dubs after making a spin maneuver while approaching the plate in kick ball 
“I call that the peanut butter wombat.” —DUBS, AGE 5

AGE 4

"Were they drinking arcorhol? Is that the stuff that makes you dumb? So like if the teacher asks you a question, you would get it wrong?” —DUBS, AGE 4
 

Dubs’s friend: I can build a pyramid out of Legos.
Dubs: I can too, even though I have no idea what a pyramid is.
 —DUBS, AGE 4
 

"Naughty little rock, I'm gonna teach you a lesson!” —DUBS, AGE 4
 

Mr. Alex: Kipling, put your shoes on please!
Dubs: Shoes, you better stay on or I'm not gonna take you somewhere special!
—DUBS, AGE 4
 

"Miss Cwithtina, can I have some hanitizer please?" —DUBS, AGE 4


Miss Cristina: Today we are going to do things a little differently. We aren’t going to have our normal school day.
Dubs: Oh Great Scots!
 —DUBS, AGE 4

 

Dubs on Gracie the dog

Dubs’s friend: Does Gracie sleep with Harper?
Dubs: Yes! Gracie loves Harper! It's the cutest thing I ever saw!
 —DUBS, AGE 4


"My dad told me that we should be careful letting Gracie outside because she has meat on her and the birds might eat her. Then he said I should be careful outside too because I might have some meat on me too." —DUBS, AGE 4

"I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER. I BRING NO SACRIFICE."

DUBS, AGE 7

"I'M GOING TO STAND IN THE BACK BECAUSE I'M A GENTLEMAN!"

DUBS, AGE 6

"I TRIPPED OVER ONE OF THOSE STAPLE THINGS. AND THE CUT WAS SO DEEP YOU COULD KINDA SEE SOME OF MY MEAT."

DUBS, AGE 6